Why we can’t be happy all the time. You try to be happy and do all the things that are supposed to bring you happiness. But still, feel like you are on a pendulum swinging between feeling happy and suffering.
It’s time to unsubscribe from the “always be happy” ideology and just let yourself be human. The reality is that happiness isn’t something that we can always attain or maintain. Life is full of ups and downs, and it’s impossible to be happy all the time. Here are some reasons why.
You can’t be happy all the time
Nowadays, a lot of us think that happiness means that we need to be happy all the time, or extremely happy. We expect to be positive under all circumstances.
But like many things in life, there’s a grey area in happiness. Just because we’re not happy all the time, it doesn’t automatically mean we become depressed if we’re experiencing negative emotions.
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Emotions are complex
Our emotions are complex and influenced by a wide range of factors. External events, such as a breakup or the loss of a loved one, can trigger negative emotions like sadness, grief, or anger. Internal factors, such as stress, anxiety, or depression, can also affect our emotional state. It’s not always possible to control or manage these emotions, and they can sometimes overpower our ability to feel happy.
Suffering isn’t a bad thing, it is just part of life. Sometimes in order to appreciate happiness we have to experience unhappiness. We can’t say we’re living if we are only choosing to allow in experiences and feelings that feel safe for us.
That’s why it’s necessary to experience some negative emotions. It helps maintain a stable baseline in your life. In fact, if you deny these negative emotions, it will lead to more prolonged negative emotions and even emotional dysfunction.
Negative emotions like sadness, anger, or fear have a purpose and can help us cope with difficult situations. These emotions can signal that something is wrong and prompt us to take action or make changes in our lives. Suppressing or avoiding negative emotions can lead to more significant problems in the long run.
Life is unpredictable
Life is unpredictable, and we can’t always control what happens to us. Unexpected events, such as illnesses, accidents, or financial hardships, can happen at any time and can significantly impact our emotional state. It’s normal to feel a range of emotions, including sadness, fear, or frustration, during these challenging times.
These events can cause a great deal of stress, anxiety, and negative emotions. We may feel overwhelmed, sad, or frustrated when our expectations and plans are disrupted. It can be challenging to cope with these unexpected events, especially when they are outside of our control.
Furthermore, life’s unpredictability means that we can’t always plan or prepare for every scenario. While we can take steps to reduce our risk of negative events, such as practising self-care, maintaining healthy relationships, and being financially responsible, we can’t eliminate the possibility of something unexpected happening.
In a sense, life’s unpredictability is both a challenge and an opportunity. It reminds us of the impermanence of everything and forces us to adapt to new situations. We can use these challenging moments to grow and learn, develop resilience, and gain a better understanding of ourselves and the world around us.
You will have ups and downs
One misconception about happiness is that it’s something you can achieve – like climbing the “experience” mountain and planting a happiness flag at the peak. But happiness isn’t something you can accomplish as an endgame. It’s not a steady state and will always have ebb and flow.
According to research published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology, comparing over 2,300 people across eight countries, Western cultures tend to believe happiness should be rather constant. This can lead to happiness inflation. You like being in a state of happiness and you adapt to that feeling and want to feel like that all the time. But being increasingly happy all the time isn’t realistic. It will rise and fall, and you’ll experience pain and discontent some of the time. This is part of the human condition and you can learn from the down times and appreciate the ups even more in contrast to negative experiences.
Suffering isn’t a bad thing, it is just a part of life. Sometimes in order to appreciate happiness we have to have to experience unhappiness. We can’t say we are living if we only choose to allow in experiences and feelings that feel safe for us.
A part of happiness is not avoiding suffering. In order to experience happiness we actually have to experience everything else, including suffering.
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What you can do to contribute towards your happiness
While it’s not possible to be happy all the time, there are things we can do to increase our overall sense of well-being and satisfaction in life. Here are a few suggestions:
- Practice gratitude: One way to increase our overall sense of well-being is to practice gratitude. This means focusing on the positive things in our lives and expressing gratitude for them. We can start by keeping a gratitude journal and writing down three things we’re grateful for each day.
- Cultivate meaningful relationships: Strong relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners can provide a sense of connection and support that can help us cope with life’s challenges. It’s essential to invest time and energy into building and maintaining these relationships.
- Engage in activities that bring us joy: Participating in activities that we enjoy can bring us a sense of fulfilment and happiness. This can be anything from exercising, cooking, reading, or spending time in nature. It’s essential to make time for these activities regularly.
- Practice self-care: Taking care of our physical, emotional, and mental health is crucial for overall well-being. This means getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and seeking professional help when needed.
- Be kind to ourselves: We often have high expectations for ourselves, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt. It’s important to practice self-compassion and treat ourselves with kindness and understanding, even when things don’t go as planned.
In summary, while we can’t always be happy, there are things we can do to increase our overall sense of well-being and satisfaction in life. By practising gratitude, cultivating meaningful relationships, engaging in activities that bring us joy, practising self-care, and being kind to ourselves, we can improve our emotional state and navigate the ups and downs of life with greater ease.
